10 Tips for Starting a Long Distance Relationship (2024)
In This Article
The idea of being in a relationship can be effortlessly beautiful. As much as they have been romanticized, relationships also have a good amount of complexity associated with them. Starting a long distance relationship is another level of intricacy.
Starting a long distance relationship requires patience and a lot of effort. A newly dating, long distance couple needs to maintain composure even when their emotions are heightened and they miss physically being with their significant other.
How to make a long distance relationship work?
Falling in love with someone who is miles apart and starting a long distance relationship is not a new concept anymore. As per a study carried out in 2005, 10% of all marriages in the US started as a long distance dating relationship.
Long distance relationships and dating require a certain level of understanding along with an intense desire to keep the relationship going. One of the long-lasting tips for a long distance relationship is to make it a point to arrange regular ldr dates or long distance dates.
What are the stages of a long distance relationship: 10 phases
Long distance or not, every relationship has its stages. When starting a long distance relationship, a person experiences similar levels. Once you cross the initial, long distance talking stage, you may experience the following:
You start romancing this person and agree to enter a relationship
Accepting distance and making romantic long distance promises to each other
Constantly checking on each other to stay in touch
Facing anxiety and missing your partner on a daily basis
Surprising them with gifts and unexpected long distance dates.
Waiting and planning for an upcoming meeting
Being depressed after a recent meeting
Re-evaluating if this will work in the long run
Staying committed no matter what
Growing and maturing in your relationship
Read more on dealing with relationship anxiety here.
After starting long distance relationships, it is a good idea to know beforehand what a person is signing up for. While loyalty and commitment are the basis of all kinds of relationships, there are a few additional things one can follow for a strong and healthy long distance equation.
1. Be prepared for a rollercoaster ride of emotions
One day can be incredible with an awesome online date evening with your object of interest. The next day may be less amazing. When you are having differences over certain things and your partner is not available to talk, it can totally turn the table around.
These sorts of high and low points can give you an emotional jerk, and they can feel alarming. They can make you question the relationship altogether. It would help if you were prepared for this experience when starting a long distance relationship.
2. Make some rules and abide by them
Misunderstandings are one of the most common long-distance relationship problems. A couple wouldn’t want their bond to get affected by assumptions, especially when starting a long distance relationship.
What a couple can do is set some rules and boundaries and be crystal clear on how to follow them. Mutually agree on what to expect from each other when miles apart. Following some relationship rituals would make less room for second thoughts and misunderstandings.
Related Reading: 25 Essential Rules for a Successful Relationship
3. Beware of jealousy
If you are wondering how to keep a long distance relationship from going off the rails, know this – you may get envious if your significant other is becoming too friendly with someone else and you aren’t physically present to see that.
Your significant other could simply be enjoying drinks with their friends, which could leave you thinking something otherwise. Jealousy is a bitter truth about long distance dating but what matters is how much you trust them and how you handle the situation.
Related Reading: 15 Signs of Jealousy in a Relationship
4. Try to communicate creatively
Proper communication fuels a long distance relationship right from the beginning and helps shape it better. Keep the communication regular and try to be creative with it at times. You can send short audio or video clips or pictures of doing something interesting throughout the day.
Sending sensual texts to your special someone is another great way to keep things engaging between the two of you! This is one of the popular long-distance relationship tips that couples swear by.
Related Reading: 10 Effective Communication Skills in Relationships for Healthy Marriages
5. Don’t let the distance hold you back
Even while starting a long distance relationship, there is no limit to the number of things you can do for and with your partner. Here’s a list of some of the simple activities that serve as great long-distance relationship tips:
Sing to each other on a video call
Start shopping online together and buy little gifts for each other
Go for a shared meditation session
Go for a walk together. You can start a video call while beginning the stroll
Binge on YouTube videos or web series together at the same time
Opt for the same workout program and track your progress
Get long distance relationship rings for the two of you.
6. Take out ‘me time’
Starting a long distance relationship doesn’t mean that you have to put all your focus on staying connected with your partner. Making such relationships work also includes remembering who you are as an individual. In fact, it can be an admirable quality in a partner.
Keep some time aside for yourself. Introspect on your personal goals and ambitions. Engage in activities that give you pleasure. Enjoying an ample amount of me time can feel liberating, especially when going through troubled times.
7. Don’t communicate too much
Over-communication can make your partner feel that you’re being possessive or clingy. Some couples believe that talking too much or too frequently is a way to compensate for not being physically together. But this can actually become a point of dissatisfaction for both or either of you.
Remember that you both have a life apart from your relationship and it is important to pay attention to those aspects, as well.
8. Be honest
Be open and honest with them. The more you try to hide from them, the more suspicious and frustrated they will get. It is okay to share your insecurities and vulnerabilities with your partner. This will make them trust you even more and form a deeper layer of attachment.
Ask them for support when you need it and let them know how important a role they are playing in your life.
9. Plan collective milestones
If you’ve been into a serious relationship and are willing to continue it for years to come, it’s good to prepare a combined checklist for you and your partner. Plan, discuss and note down all the milestones you want to achieve as a couple in the near future.
Milestones are a good way to keep yourself motivated and inspired. When starting a long distance relationship, plan out methods to reach every successive goal and enjoy the process meanwhile.
10. Give personalized gifts
Personalized gifts are always special, be it any relationship. Planning something lavish is unnecessary; just a simple, thoughtful gift can convey your feelings to your loved one. A plain love letter can also go a long way in sustaining the warmth and affection between two people.
Arrange for things in advance for all occasions, especially birthdays and anniversaries. Make sure to give them an enriching experience that they can remember for a really long time.
For more couple gifting ideas, watch this video:
Commonly asked questions
Starting a long distance relationship can make you speculate over plenty of things. Let’s deep dive into some of the frequently asked questions in terms of long distance relationships or dating.
Is starting a long-distance relationship a good idea?
The question as to whether starting a long distance relationship is a good decision or not is purely subjective and can have different answers for different people. This topic can not be generalized as it depends on the mindset and desires of the two people entering the relationship.
What you can do here is be clear on your priorities and wants in the longer run. Analyze your preparedness to start something as serious as a long distance relationship and take your call.
Do long-distance relationships usually last?
While some long distance couples might separate their ways within a year of dating, there can be instances of long distance relationships converting into successful marriages.
A couple intensely committed to each other may never have to worry about the length of their courtship. How long a relationship would last is directly related to the efforts and determination of the two people involved.
Takeaway
Starting any relationship is easy but what’s not is keeping up with it. It takes a lot of patience, thought and resilience to make the best out of a long-distance relationship. These days, opting for couples therapy is also an option to build a strong relationship.
With a little effort, you can have a heartwarming and fulfilling experience while in a long-distance relationship. Whenever you start feeling overwhelmed, just remember why you decided to be in a relationship with your partner in the first place.
However, the key to maintaining a strong long-distance relationship is complete honesty and trust. Very often being apart can stir up feelings of jealousy, insecurity, or abandonment. And if one partner doesn't feel secure in the relationship, it will quickly crumble.
However, the key to maintaining a strong long-distance relationship is complete honesty and trust. Very often being apart can stir up feelings of jealousy, insecurity, or abandonment. And if one partner doesn't feel secure in the relationship, it will quickly crumble.
Psychologists say you should wait at least two months until you ask the other person to be exclusive with you. You might decide to commit to each other sooner than that, but generally speaking, eight weeks is a good timeline.
You might think talking every single day when you're in an LDR is a must. The truth is, experts say it's really not necessary and might actually be harmful to your relationship. "You don't need to be in constant communication," Davis says.
Regular communication is the key to sustaining any relationship, but this is especially true for long-distance ones. Be open with your partner. Honest and open communication is just as important as talking often. If something is worrying you, your partner should be the first to know.
Touch his cheeks, his forearms, his inner thighs, the back of his wrists, his forehead, his bare knees, or even graze his lips with your hands. These are all classic erogenous zones that are sure to leave him titillated!
“It's important to see each other as much as possible,” said Patel. “I know depending on the distance it can feel hard, but it's important.” She said the goal is to see one another in person at least quarterly. Even better is if you can make it work to see each other monthly.
The MUA resembles a mobile stand with colourless pursed lips protruding from the front. To use it, lovers must download an app on to their smartphones and pair their kissing machines. When they kiss the device, it kisses back. The device is available in several colours with the same unisex lips.
A dating red flag is a warning sign that appears during a date that could indicate a problem, miscommunication, or challenge in the future. Examples of dating red flags are: Talking only about themselves, avoiding difficult conversations, gossiping about their ex, and withholding affection..
Dating gurus on TikTok recommend a new rule to weed out incompatible partners. They call it the three-month rule, where people can evaluate potential partners for 90 days. They recommend not exclusively dating someone — or even kissing them — for these first months.
If they're making tons of inappropriate comments, oversharing, or generally pushing emotional intimacy, these are all red flags. Someone who truly wants to get to know you and wants something serious understands familiarity is something you absolutely cannot rush.
While sexting is popular in short-term affairs, experts claim those in long-term relationships benefit most from it. This flirty form of communication, which includes sexually suggestive texts, photographs or videos, is useful for both long-distance partners and those who live together.
In a long-distance relationship, you should go often enough to feel connected but not too much so your conversations don't get boring. Some long-distance couples like to talk every day. While it's fine to call every day, I wouldn't advise spending hours on the phone with your long-distance partner.
Texting a compliment, a funny meme, or a positive comment, will make the person on the other end feel closer to you and more satisfied with the relationship. Likewise, checking in on someone or just letting them know that you're thinking of them can strengthen the relationship too.
People in long-distance relationships can develop jealousy towards their partner's local friends, often complaining that they spend "too much time" with them. There is also the risk of your partner developing an intimate relationship or falling in love with someone else while you are away.
A whopping 71 percent of women and 64 percent of men identified a lack of progress as the reason their long-distance relationship ended. Relationships need forward momentum, whether the couple lives right next door to each other or miles apart.
If they feel close to you and invested in your relationship, they'll be ready to chat with you whenever they can. Even if you're in different time zones, your partner will make time to stay in touch with you if they're committed. Getting a phone call or video call is another sure sign that your man loves you.
A boring relationship is often characterized by a loss of interest, affection, and attention. Being comfortable in your relationship is a good thing—but boredom can signify that things need to change.
Focus on keeping your conversations to the point. Avoid boring phone calls; find something exciting to share. Explore different ways to feel connected other than talking on the phone. Send your long-distance partner an occasional handwritten letter with a few photographs of yourself doing something fun.
When you feel like something is lacking within you, you may crave someone. When you're emotionally all over the place on some level, you may crave someone. Feeding into a memory, the way a person made you feel or a desire that you possibly have been suppressing, that too can cause you to crave someone.
Without intimacy of meaningful conversations and physical closeness, the feelings that you once shared for each other may begin to fade away. The more time you spend apart, the higher the chances you have of meeting someone else.
Intimacy in a relationship is a feeling of being close, and emotionally connected and supported. It means being able to share a whole range of thoughts, feelings and experiences that we have as human beings.
Clear communication, respect, and honesty can go a long way in helping them open up and reveal their innermost desires or insecurities. While you need to pay attention to their unspoken words and cues, giving them their personal space is also important in strengthening the relationship and communication further.
Both men and women consistently cite emotional stability and maturity as one of the most attractive traits in a potential spouse. While men often fall victim to the stereotype of prioritizing physical attraction, when it comes to a potential wife, they want a woman who is grounded and secure in herself.
One clear sign a man is emotionally connected to you is when he truly cares for you. When you reciprocate his feelings, there is a better chance of him getting emotionally attached. He also tries to show his romantic side in his way. He might do it by talking to you for hours or taking long walks with you.
LDRs require a huge amount of open, straight-forward communication to properly work, and this can often be difficult to manage over the phone. Heck, it's hard to manage in person! It can also be hard to establish boundaries and the right amount of communication if you're doing long distance for the first time.
The great thing about a long-distance relationship is that it can help strengthen the bond that goes beyond the physical between you and your partner, because you have more time to talk to each other about yourselves and about each other. A long-distance relationship fosters communication and trust-building.
Usually, a 1-2 hour drive is not considered a long-distance relationship. But if you don't own a car or have good access to transportation, 1 hour can be a significant distance.
How often should you communicate in a long distance relationship? It depends on how long you have been in the relationship. New LDR might be every few days a text or a call. But long term serious relationships like mine need daily communication to be maintained and keep the closeness of a real time relationship.
The four-month is the hardest mark to achieve in a long-distance relationship and the moment with the highest probability of breaking up. The odds of success grow significantly after eight months into the relationship.
As it turns out, it might be the very same thing that can make any other relationship dissolve over time: failing to take things to the next level. According to one recent survey, long-distance relationships end when the relationship lacks a sense of progress.
“It's important to see each other as much as possible,” said Patel. “I know depending on the distance it can feel hard, but it's important.” She said the goal is to see one another in person at least quarterly. Even better is if you can make it work to see each other monthly.
How long is a long distance relationship? Most people consider 125 miles or more apart a long distance relationship. Of course, there are differing opinions on this. If you can't see your partner daily or a few times a week, it's long distance.
A red flag for an unhealthy relationship and controlling behavior is if your partner is messaging you constantly, asking where you are or demanding that you send pictures of people that you're with. They might say, “I want to make sure you're not with anyone I don't like,” or “I'm just checking in on you.”
You might think talking every single day when you're in an LDR is a must. The truth is, experts say it's really not necessary and might actually be harmful to your relationship. "You don't need to be in constant communication," Davis says.
The simple answer is no, you don't need to talk every day in a long-distance relationship. Sometimes life makes it hard to respond to text or take time to talk on the phone. It's not unreasonable to need a few days to focus on work or yourself.
Several couples go through a dry spell after years of being together. If you start sexting, things will slowly change for good and your sex life will be back on track. It creates and builds an intense chemistry between two people. Sexting makes you feel close to your partner even when he/she is miles away.
A slight rift emerges in the crucial issue of who should text first after a date: Men are a little more likely to say the woman should text first, while women are more likely to say the man should text first. But the majority of men and women surveyed are in agreement: It doesn't matter who texts first.
Why is talking dirty important in a long-distance relationship? Sex can bring intimacy into a relationship, bringing you and your partner closer, so dirty talk and sexting can remind your long-distance partner that you're thinking of them and can't wait to physically have sex with them.
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