What Is Fair in a Second Marriage and Estate Planning? (2024)

Community Property vs. Separate Property

Let’s start with the concept of community property vs. separate property. This is very important for California residents because is one of the few states that recognize community property law in the United States of America. As such, California’s constitution makes specific provisions for the designation of debt and assets obtained during the marriage.

Let’s dig into that. For married couples in California, there are three classes of property. The classification of the properties determines how they’ll be divided among the spouses in the event of a divorce or annulment of the marriage. Understanding these classes of property can provide more insight regarding property ownership and estate planning in a second marriage, so let’s take a careful look at each one.

  • Community Property: California laws describe community property, also known as marital property, as any real or personal property or life estate, in whatever location, which was acquired by the couple in marriage while living in the state. In other words, this is the stuff you own together.
  • Separate Property: Unlike community property, separate property can be described as any real or personal property, in whatever location, that was acquired by the spouse before the marriage or after the annulment of the marriage. Even during the marriage, assets that were acquired as gifts or inheritance will be classified as separate property. In other words, this is the stuff each of you owns separately (as the name implies).
  • Quasi-Community Property: This is very similar in definition to community property. The only difference is that a quasi-community property was acquired in another state before moving to California.

Property division in the event of a divorce or annulment, as mentioned earlier, tows the lane of the classification of such property. When divorce occurs and property division is to take place, community properties and quasi-community properties are divided 50/50 between the couple.

This is not the case for the separate property, as each party gets to keep their separate properties in the event of divorce. It is noteworthy that the couple can make a written agreement for a property to be classified as separate even if such property was acquired during the marriage.

Key Estate Planning Considerations for Second Marriages

What Is Fair in a Second Marriage and Estate Planning? (1)

As mentioned earlier, a second marriage may be considered a fresh start for many. This is why you should use it as an opportunity to review your estate plans and update them to cater to your interests and those of your spouse, an adult or minor child or children (if any), and other secondary beneficiaries.

In a second marriage, the estate planning process should be given utmost importance. After all, careless plans can result in conflict as well as the disinheritance of your beneficiaries.

Here are some important questions to consider when conducting estate planning for second marriage.

General

  • Do you have life insurance?
  • Which estate planning technique will be most suitable for you?
  • Have you updated your primary beneficiary or beneficiaries? We will examine this in more depth in a moment.
  • Is your designated advisor, executor, or trustee still the right person for the job?

Kids

  • Are you looking to have more children with your new spouse? If yes, what provisions will you make for them?
  • What provisions will you make for your biological children?

Assets and Debt

  • Which properties do you want to hold separately?
  • How will you manage debts in your estate plans?
  • What assets are you planning to hold jointly?
  • Have you reviewed your financial accounts?

Wills

  • Do you need to update your will?
  • Will you consider mutual will?

Answering the questions above can help you and your new spouse to make the best estate plan possible. It will help you cater adequately to your needs and your beneficiaries’ needs without loopholes. This will also keep you on the same page with your spouse, as there will be no fear of future disputes arising from a conflict of interests.

Naming and Updating Spouse Beneficiaries in a Second Marriage

When entering a second marriage, it is only fair that you review your estate plans to cater to your new spouse. Are there areas of your estate plan where you named your ex-spouse or deceased spouse from your previous relationship or marriage as a beneficiary? You may have to review and change the beneficiary name to that of your current spouse.

Furthermore, when making estate plans in a second marriage, it is not advisable to add your new spouse as a joint tenant to your house with rights of survivorship, especially if there are children from a previous marriage involved. Making this mistake can give your surviving spouse the exclusive right to the house without consideration for the stipulations in your estate plans. Therefore, it is important that assets such as real estate, bank accounts, retirement plans, and life insurance policies are exclusively titled to you, with a trust designated as their beneficiaries.

Is a Pre-Nuptial Agreement Important for Second Marriage?

A prenuptial agreement is an agreement signed by partners before marriage that discloses all the assets of each spouse and stipulates how they want these assets to be divided and distributed in the event of death or divorce. Prenuptial agreements are useful for other things too, such as business and property protection, protection of pension and retirement plans, and a stipulation of the terms of asset division in the event of divorce, among other things.

This agreement, otherwise called a prenup or premarital agreement, is very important in a second marriage and highly recommended. It helps to protect the inheritance of biological children, eliminating the risk of disinheritance.

Estate Planning for Second Marriages with Children

Second marriages in which both spouses have had children with their previous spouse or deceased spouse require a lot more careful considerations when making estate plans. It is only normal for each spouse to want the best for their biological children. It can be hard to avoid a conflict of interests in this kind of situation because, just like your spouse, you want to make adequate provisions for your children as well as your spouse.

Here are some special steps you can consider when determining what is fair in a second marriage and estate planning when children are involved.

Conduct a Review: When getting into a subsequent marriage with minor or adult children, it is very important that you review any existing plans you have made Take a second look at your will or trust and make necessary changes in order to avoid estate planning issues.

Make Additional Plans: You may also need to make additional arrangements. Adding a qualified terminable interest property trust (QTIP), separate marital trust, or other separate trusts can help with estate planning that encompasses your new family arrangement. This type of trust provides for your spouse while restricting access to the trust principal, thereby protecting the inheritance of your children and minimizing estate tax.

Protect Children with Special Needs: There are additional arrangements that can be made to cater to the special needs of children with special needs. A special needs trust (SNT) adequately caters to such children in a second marriage in terms of their education and medical decisions.

Adjust for Age: Don’t forget to consider your children’s age when making your estate plans. If they are adult children, a power of attorney or a deed of gift can help to transfer assets to them. However, if they are minors, you may want to consider placing their inheritance in a revocable living trust or irrevocable trust, which would also help in minimizing estate taxes. Don’t forget to designate a trustworthy trustee to oversee and manage the assets on their behalf.

Do I Need a Lawyer to Determine What Is Fair in a Second Marriage and Estate Planning?

The complexity of estate planning in second marriages makes it hard for anyone to try it truly pro bono. If you are looking to make adequate estate plans in your second marriage that will protect your interests as well as that of your spouse and biological children, it is highly recommended that you use outside resources.

If your estate is very large or complex, you may want to hire a lawyer. The estate planning attorney’s main role would be to help you determine and decide when you need a trust or plan and what type of trust or plan will be most suitable to establish in your case. Also, an expert estate planning lawyer will be able to give you legal advice on every step you take in the course of your estate planning journey.

However, an estate planning lawyer is very pricey, with rates in the hundreds of dollars per hour. If you’re looking for an alternative, consider using A People’s Choice. Our legal document preparation service can help you locate and fill out the correct estate planning forms completely and correctly, all at a fraction of the cost of a lawyer.

Start Planning Your Estate

Planning your estate adequately in a second marriage with children is obviously not an easy feat to achieve. However, by carefully considering all important factors, you will be able to set up a comprehensive estate plan that documents all your wishes and protects the interests of your spouse and children.

Should you need any more information regarding estate planning for a blended family and second marriage, feel free to check other posts regarding this topic on A People’s Choice. You can also contact us for consultations on comprehensive estate planning documents and trust documents. Our reputable team of experts is always available to plan your estate professionally and at an affordable cost. Don’t put it off; get started today!

What Is Fair in a Second Marriage and Estate Planning? (2024)

FAQs

What is the best estate planning for a second marriage? ›

Trusts can be a useful estate planning tool for couples, including those who are getting married for a second time. A marital trust, for example, goes into effect when the first spouse dies. This can be helpful for passing assets on to a surviving spouse while minimizing estate taxes.

How to structure finances second marriage? ›

Keep separate accounts and one joint account

“It can be effective for couples in a second marriage to have separate accounts to manage each person's income and individual expenses, and one joint account that each contributes to for joint expenses,” Clemens says.

What is the best trust for a second marriage? ›

Revocable Trust: For married couples, a Revocable Living Trust has many purposes. To learn more, follow this link to Revocable Trust in depth. But, they are especially useful for those in second marriages who wish to have children from the first marriage involved in overseeing their assets.

What are the chances that a second marriage will be successful? ›

While many couples see remarriage as a second chance at happiness, the statistics tell a different story. According to available Census data, the divorce rate for second marriages in the United States is over 60% compared to around 50% for first marriages. Why are second marriages more likely to fail?

How do you divide an estate fairly and happily? ›

You have some options:
  1. Divide up assets based on their value. ...
  2. Instruct your executor to divide assets equally. ...
  3. Instruct your executor to sell everything and then distribute the proceeds to your beneficiaries equally.

How do I protect my child's inheritance in a second marriage? ›

How To Protect Your Children's Inheritance If You Remarry
  1. Give the money or assets directly to your children.
  2. Create a Trust to Protect your Children's Inheritance.
  3. Purchase life insurance for your children.

What are the financial issues with second marriages? ›

Social Security and other retirement funds, health-care and insurance, and estate-planning are all affected when people remarry. If one or both of the prospective spouses already has children, issues of inheritance become doubly important.

Who pays for what in a second marriage? ›

Who's Paying? Gone are the days when the bride's family pays for the wedding, even if it's the first one. The bride and groom usually split the cost of the second wedding. If your parents offer to contribute, graciously say yes, but don't expect them to foot the entire bill.

What is the best way to separate finances in marriage? ›

One option is for each partner to "own" certain bills. For example, one partner pays for cellphones and internet, and the other pays for power and water. Alternatively, you can split all bills 50/50. One way to do this is to have one partner pay bills and the other reimburse them for their half.

What is the 2-2-2 rule of a good marriage? ›

Enter the 2-2-2 rule: Try and swing a date night every two weeks, a weekend away every two months and a week away every two years. The rule has its origins on a Reddit thread from 2015 and has in recent weeks reappeared on social media as a form of relationship advice.

Why second marriages are more successful? ›

Your Expectations Are Probably More Realistic

“The second time, they're much more realistic. They know that something won't change just because they've gotten married, and they have a more mature, balanced idea of what they want. Also, they're more likely to have spotted any red flags beforehand.”

Why would a married couple have two separate trusts? ›

In general, most experts agree that Separate Trusts can provide more asset protection. Joint Trust: Marital assets are all together in a single trust. This means there's less asset protection, because if there's ever a judgment over one of the spouses, all of the assets could end up being at risk.

What is the number one reason second marriages fail? ›

Money, Sex, and In-Laws

The above “big three” issues are the primary problems that plague most first marriages. These same issues also impact subsequent marriages—but even more so. The money problem becomes even more troublesome in second marriages due to child support and spousal maintenance payments.

What is the average length of a second marriage? ›

The average length of a first marriage that ends in divorce is roughly eight years—7.8 years for men, 7.9 for women. Moving into second marriages that end in divorce, the timeline shortens somewhat. In these cases, the median length for men is 7.3 years, while for women it drops to 6.8 years.

Who should come first in a second marriage? ›

Most parents make their child or children the top priority in life. And as you create your new blended family, you will want to provide consistency for your child, whether they live with you full time or come to stay at the weekend or on holidays.

Are personal belongings part of an estate? ›

In short, yes. Household items do have to go through the probate process as they are considered probate assets with no explicit or individual title. These assets (items like furniture, clothing, collections, artwork, jewelry, etc.) typically have little monetary value but can have serious sentimental value.

How can I leave money to my daughter but not her husband? ›

Set up a trust

One of the easiest ways to shield your assets is to pass them to your child through a trust. The trust can be created today if you want to give money to your child now, or it can be created in your will and go into effect after you are gone.

How should estate be distributed? ›

Most assets can be distributed by preparing a new deed, changing the account title, or by giving the person a deed of distribution. For example: To transfer a bank account to a beneficiary, you will need to provide the bank with a death certificate and letters of administration.

Does the second wife inherit? ›

Answer: If marriage to a second wife takes place after a divorce from the first wife or after the first wife's death, then the Hindu Succession Act grants the second wife the same rights in wife property rights in India as the first wife did. This would be the case even if the first wife died before marriage.

Does my ex wife get half my inheritance? ›

Generally, inheritances are not subject to equitable distribution because inheritances are not considered marital property. Instead, inheritances are treated as separate property belonging to the person who received the inheritance and are not be divided between the parties in a divorce.

How do I protect my assets from a new spouse? ›

Getting Married? Here's How To Protect Your Assets Without A Prenup
  1. Separating Finances. ...
  2. Consider a Post-Nuptial Agreement. ...
  3. Keeping Real Estate Separate. ...
  4. Create a Revocable Trust. ...
  5. Document Everything.
Feb 20, 2022

What is the second divorce shame? ›

What is second divorce shame? It can mean many things, and each divorce situation is unique, but second divorce shame can include feelings like embarrassment, a sense of failure, and frustration and disappointment that you thought you got it right this time, only to realize you were wrong.

What is the average divorce rate for second marriages? ›

8. 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce. 9. 73 percent of all third marriages end in divorce.

What is the second most common cause of divorce? ›

The study found that the primary reason for divorce was lack of commitment, closely followed by infidelity and conflict in the family.

What color do brides wear for second wedding? ›

What Colour Does a Bride Wear for Their Second Wedding? White, as established, is fine, but any other colour will work, too.

What is a second marriage called? ›

Remarriage is a marriage that takes place after a previous marital union has ended, as through divorce or widowhood. Some individuals are more likely to remarry than others; the likelihood can differ based on previous relationship status (e.g. divorced vs.

What is it called when you have a second wedding? ›

A sequel wedding is essentially a term for a second wedding celebration where the couple has decided to go ahead with a smaller ceremony earlier on, in order to comply with COVID-19 regulations.

How do you protect yourself financially during separation? ›

7 Smart Steps You Can Take to Protect Yourself Financially in...
  1. Plan and prioritize early. ...
  2. Establish your own bank account. ...
  3. Monitor and separate your debt. ...
  4. Take control of your credit score. ...
  5. Consider mediation instead of litigation. ...
  6. Talk about retirement. ...
  7. Be honest.
Feb 2, 2023

Can I empty my bank account before divorce? ›

The key term here is “leading up to.” Emptying an account years before a divorce is not a punishable offense, but doing so within a reasonable timeframe of a divorce can lead to consequences for the spouse making the withdrawal.

How much should each spouse contribute to the household expenses? ›

The 50/50 method and the income-based method are ways to split expenses with your partner. For some couples, drawing a line down the middle of their expenses and having each person contribute 50% is what works. This expense-sharing method is no bones about it and is straightforward.

What is the 321 marriage rule? ›

The 2-2-2 Rule involves going on a date night every two weeks, spending a weekend away every two months and taking a week-long vacation away every two years. The idea behind it is that prioritizing and planning to spend time together strengthens your relationship.

What is the 5 second rule in marriage? ›

When you get up to do your thing, take 5 seconds before you start speaking to settle yourself and create a calm feeling for the audience. This great advice applies not only to public speaking, but also to your wedding. Weddings are hectic and emotionally charged.

What is the 80 20 rule book marriage? ›

The 80/20 relationship theory states that you can only get about 80% of your wants and needs from a healthy relationship, while the remaining 20% you need to provide for yourself.

Who is most likely to remarry after a divorce and why? ›

Men Are More Likely to Remarry

The rate for women was significantly lower, at only 19.4 per 1,000 women eligible for remarriage. This data indicates that men are consistently more likely to attempt a second marriage than women.

Are people happier in 2nd marriages? ›

Couples living together after a failed marriage find their life satisfaction improves for eight years, while those who tie the knot for a second time see a decade of improvement. But for first-timers, marriage does not provide "any first-year improvement in happiness" and then declines.

What are the odds of remarrying after age 60? ›

45 to 54 years – 63% will remarry. 55 to 64 years – 67% will remarry. 65 years and older – 50% will remarry.

What is the best trust for a married couple? ›

Simple Living Trusts for Married Couples

Simple living trusts are often considered the easiest kinds of trusts to set up and keep. In a simple living trust, a couple can share the control and benefits of the trust while they are living. Once one spouse dies, the other spouse will have total control over the trust.

What is the best type of trust for a married couple? ›

A traditional bypass trust has often been considered the best tax-saving strategy for married couples, and this was especially true in the era when lifetime exemptions were low. Its main advantage is that it provides a simple way to ensure the maximum use of the full exemption of both spouses.

What is a QTIP in estate planning? ›

Qualified terminable interest trusts (QTIP trusts) are an estate planning tool used to maximize a couple's applicable exclusion amounts while qualifying for the marital deduction. Full property interest transfers to spouses do not trigger most gift or estate taxes under the marital deduction.

What is second wife syndrome? ›

What is Second Wife Syndrome? Essentially, second wife syndrome when a second wife, or partner, of someone with kids feels marginalized, left out, and unimportant within the family dynamic.

Who is least likely to remarry after divorce? ›

Men have always been more likely to remarry than women, although this gap has closed somewhat. Today, 64% of men and 52% of women have remarried. However, when you split up the numbers by age, there's one group that is significantly less likely to get remarried: women over the age of 55.

What are 3 causes of failed marriages? ›

The survey found that the 12 top reasons for divorce, from most to least common, are:
  • lack of commitment.
  • constant arguing or conflict.
  • infidelity.
  • marrying too young.
  • unrealistic expectations about partner or marriage.
  • inequality between partners.
  • inadequate preparation for marriage.
  • domestic violence.
Oct 25, 2022

What is the most common age to divorce? ›

But what is the most common age to get divorced? The average age for a couple entering their first divorce is 30 years old. And 60% of divorces involve spouses between the ages of 25 and 39.

What year of marriage is most common for divorce? ›

While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. Of those two high-risk periods, there are two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.

What percentage of second marriages are successful? ›

While many couples see remarriage as a second chance at happiness, the statistics tell a different story. According to available Census data, the divorce rate for second marriages in the United States is over 60% compared to around 50% for first marriages.

Who comes first in a man's life wife or daughter? ›

The vows make it clear that the relationship comes first. It's one of the biggest reasons why your spouse should come first. Putting the children first diminishes the commitment and dishonors your wife. Putting each other first creates the kind of confidence that causes love to thrive and children to feel secure.

How successful are second marriages to the same person? ›

According to available Census data, the divorce rate for second marriages in the United States is more than 60% compared to the not inconsiderable 50% for first ones.

Should a married couple have 2 separate wills? ›

Some married couples execute what is called “joint wills.” In a joint will, both spouses execute a will in the same document. A joint will is legal. But joint wills can create a lot of problems, so it's best for the spouses to have separate wills.

How do you split an estate in a blended family? ›

How do blended families structure their wills?
  1. Option 1: All to spouse. The simplest option is to say that all assets of the first to die go to the surviving spouse at 100%. ...
  2. Option 2: Split gifts. Another option is for the will to provide a split of the assets. ...
  3. Option 3: Trusts.

Should you get a prenup for second marriage? ›

If you are remarrying for the second or third time in California, it can be especially important to consider a prenuptial agreement. This is because it is likely that a second or a subsequent marriage will be more complicated than the first.

Should a married couple have the same executor? ›

Typically, spouses name one another as executor of each other's wills. But you should also name another person or corporate trustee as a successor in each will. Also worth noting is a mirror will leaves all of your estate to the surviving spouse, after specific distributions to named beneficiaries.

Can my husband change his will without me knowing? ›

It is legal for your husband to make a will without your knowledge. No laws exist that can stop him from doing so. As long as he was mentally stable, not under the influence of anything, not forced into it, and followed your state's rules when signing it, the will is valid, even if he didn't tell you about it.

Is it better for husband and wife to have separate wills? ›

The reality is, however, that both you and your spouse should each have your own will, and it should be planned as soon as possible. No matter if its a first marriage, or you're getting re-married. Some couples think that they can have one joint will together, but this is not a sound approach.

What is the best will for a married couple? ›

A popular option for many married couples or life partners is to make mirror wills. These are almost identical wills where both partners leave their estate to the other. You also name the same people and organizations as your secondary beneficiaries.

Who should you leave your estate to? ›

While the process differs by state, the inheritance hierarchy usually goes like this: surviving spouse, followed by children, and then grandchildren. If none of those relatives can be identified, your assets could go to parents, grandparents, siblings, nephews, nieces—or even the state.

What is the best way to divide inheritance property? ›

Give the house, the land or the business to just one child and make up the difference with a monetary share for the others. Alternatively, stipulate that the asset be sold and the proceeds divided evenly. That way, the one who really wants the asset can buy the others out.”

What type of trust is best for blended families? ›

A revocable living trust for blended families is a great option. Even if you have a wonderful family dynamic, letting your new partner and your children figure your estate out after you've died can be disastrous. It's best practice to figure out the details while you're still alive.

What should a woman ask for in a prenup second marriage? ›

A woman should ask for clear provisions in a prenup, such as protection of assets, spousal support, and clarification of property rights in case of a divorce. Prenuptial agreements, or prenups, are statutory documents that summarize how assets and liabilities will be divided during a legal separation or divorce.

What should you not agree to a prenup? ›

A prenup can't include personal preferences. This might include provisions such as who has what chores, where to spend the holidays, whose name to use, details about child-rearing, or what relationship to have with certain relatives. Prenuptial agreements are designed to address financially-based issues.

Should I be offended if my husband wants a prenup? ›

If your fiance(é) asks for a prenup, there's no need to get upset. Prenuptial agreements are becoming more common, especially with millennial couples. A prenup can serve as a plan for your future, and there are plenty of benefits to consider before shutting it down altogether.

Should you name your spouse as your executor? ›

First and foremost, if you are married, you should consider appointing your spouse as your executor. Your spouse has the biggest stake in your life and your death, and it makes sense that he or she is in control of the finances.

Can the executor be the ex wife? ›

If the ex-spouse was named as the executor of the will, the courts must appoint someone else to be the will's executor.

What are mirror wills? ›

Married couples often execute wills which are identical in their provisions, frequently giving the estate to the surviving spouse or if the spouse does not survive to the children. This is commonly referred as "mirror wills".

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